Thursday, August 05, 2004

The Good, The Bad, And The Badonkablogger

I had to run over to the court house this morning before work to drop some papers off, so I stopped at the cafe next door to get some morning feed. So low & behold, who do I see? The nappy, stinky, smelly NOW bitch, my 11:00 meeting. She didn't see me thank god, so I snuck around to order my breakfast. Her back was to me as I was ordering, and god as my witness, she let out the fart of all farts! It had to register at least a 4.0 on the richter scale. The guy next to her made a joking comment and applauded her, and she went ballistic on him. Ranting about how it's ok for men to fart and burp in public, but women are judged by a different set of standards. The guy just laughed at her the whole time. She finally calmed down and went about her breakfast. A few minutes later she's going nuts again! Apparently this guy aimed his anal orifice in her direction and ripped a good one, proclaimed his right to fart in public, and then walked out. Everyone around her was laughing hysterically! On top of all that, she has no idea that I'm expensing my breakfast to her account. I actually feel bad for the senior partner who has to handle her account.

Back to the court house. I was heading over there to file some papers for what I like to call nuisance suits. A few months back, I got pulled over and refused to take any roadside sobriety tests or cooperate with the police in anyway. I got charged with a DUI but alas got out of another one. It sucks having your license suspended for 6 months, but you're gonna lose your license for 6 months anyway and at least their is no DUI on my record. I was pissed at the guy who pulled me over, he was a real arrogant ass. He kept spouting off all sorts of cliche phrases that they must teach you in cop school about how not cooperating was going to cost me dearly. Anyhow, I looked up in the public records how much this guy makes, a whopping $55,000 a year. So I figure I'll run him up about $15k in legal fees by sicking nuisance lawsuits on him. I already had my friend who does collections work, expedite some of his late bills.

I need to start thinking about what winter car I'm going to get this year. I kind of liked the Nissan Murano I had last year, but I felt like I was driving a mini-van. I might redneck it up this time around and go for something like a really obnoxiously oversized pickup. If I do that, then I'll definitely have to get one of those stickers of the kid peeing on the other type of car, like a Ford or Chevy. I really hate domestic cars though, so it might be hard to find a decent full sized pick up that I like.

Until next time,


Blogger gonedoneoverfinished said...

you slay me!

No, no one turned me in, or my blog. At least not that I know of. I have just read it here and there on other blogs. And of course, I find that very irritating...

Ok so 'now' I have to go look up "NOW" to figure out what the heck you are talking about, I am sure its just another over zealous biased radical group that feels like the world owes them something simply for existing. blech.

August 5, 2004 at 7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cars at their best 1967 corvette

October 23, 2005 at 6:21 PM  

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